I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize