Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
