Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
