Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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