did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
