Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize