I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
