worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
