how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
