Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
