so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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