last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
