would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
