you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
