Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
