He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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