its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize