i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
