I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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