i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
