Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
