oh god the rape fog is back!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
