it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
