Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
