Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you inspire me to be a worse person
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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