my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Houston, we have a blender
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
