no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
