Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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