We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
