It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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