After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
