gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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