I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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