is your mom at the bar?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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