I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He did a backflip because drugs
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