I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
