Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Enjoy the penises
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
