So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize