all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
