I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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