Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize