you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
