I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
