when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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