Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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