okay pat passed out under dana's car
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
