Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
