this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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