he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize