i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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