You smell like stripper and shame
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
