i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
