It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
