so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
