Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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