He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
