So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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