He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My pussy is not your playground.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
