No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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