..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
