Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
